Hammer Haiku

This is a series of haikus I made in 2021 for Instagram during Covid. You can check out the whole series at my ig: invisiblism

Traditionally a haiku has strict rules; 17 syllables, over three lines arranged 5-7-5. I’ve tried (but mostly failed) to stick to this. My second rule was that the three lines must contain references to three genres; Horror comics, 80s VHS, and internet porn.

Lo-Brow Hi-Ku.

Welcome to Sneaky Peaks
Men Only Nudist Resort
Free Cocktail Sausage

Tit 4 Tat
Topless Cheerleader Assassins
Vengeance Served Hot

Monster Muscle Messiah
and the Deranged Disciples of Doom
Revelations, Incantations, Devastation.

Freaky Alien Atrocity
Teenage Cannibal Summer Camp
Foreign Language: Subtitles

Inquisitive Intern…
Do Not Touch.
Bang.

Bisexual Vampire
Hot Tub, in a
Mysterious Fog

Giant Amateur Housewife
High on a Hill
With a Lonely Goatherd

Godzilla vs
Headless Horseman of the Apocalypse vs
Anal Time Machine

Man Overboard
Unfathomable Depths
Insatiable Desires

Men of Chippendales
24-Hour Non-Stop Strip-a-Thon on Ice
Climaxing in an Emotional Breakdown

The Island of Shrieking Skulls
Lose 10kg or Your Money Back
Includes Slaughter of Innocents

Rated R
In the Car
With Dracular

Heiress’ Horror!
Horny Husband & Hot Handyman
Hardcore Hotel Hijinks

Butthole Back in Time
Man Eating Plant
Joyride to Hell

Soap, Sponges and Sodomy
Exclusive Limousine
Carwash Cult